When children are struggling with learning disabilities, parents have concerns about how to help their child manage difficulties related to academics and they also have concerns about their child’s self-image.
In her book, ‘Overcoming Dyslexia’, Sally Shaywitz devotes a chapter to ‘Protecting and Nourishing Your Child’s Soul’
(inspiration for my blog entry title) and she makes so many great points. She emphasizes that a key principle parents need to bear in mind is the importance of providing unconditional love and support for their child – and the key role that parents need to play as their child’s cheerleader.
There’s another point Sally makes in particular that I want to elaborate on here briefly, that is, how critical it is to help your child early on identify an abiding hobby or interest. If a child can develop a talent or interest that she enjoys, can feel good about, perhaps excel in, and certainly show steady progress in, it can be a kind of ’self-esteem’ anchor.
It seems like a ‘no-brainer’ but hold on a minute. I want to emphasize that parents may find helping their children ‘try out’ new pursuits turns out to be a journey of persistence and perseverance. Some children can be very resistant to trying anything new. As Sally Shaywitz points out “Not every child falls in love with an activity immediately, so it is important to expose him to different possibilities and help get him through the initial rough spots when his first response may be to want to give up.”
Bearing Sally’s quote in mind, be determined and creative in terms of encouraging your child to try out an activity that he or she may initially resist and provide enough exposure to determine for sure whether a particular hobby/activity/sport captures the child’s interest or not. Once your child expresses enjoyment and willingness to stick with a hobby and ‘takes off’ with it, continue to support your child’s pursuit – and give yourself a pat on the back for that and all of the ways you help to nourish your child’s soul.
It can seem overwhelming at times dealing with the challenges of raising a child with learning differences (LD) and/or other related conditions such as attention deficit/hyperactivity (ADD/ADHD). Fortunately, most communities have wonderful organizations with dedicated staff and volunteers, often themselves parents of children with conditions like ADD/ADHD, who provide information and services for parents like yourself. One such organization on the peninsula in the SF Bay Area is Parents Helping Parents (www.php.com). PHP offers many programs and here I want to point out one that I have participated in myself and highly recommend. It is PHP’s 2009-2010 LD/ADD Lecture Series and Parent Support Group. Just last month, I attended a series event titled ‘Walk in the Shoes of an LD Student’. I and about sixty other parents were put through a simulation of the different types of learning difficulties that LD/ADD students must confront and manage on a daily basis. It was an eye-opening experience that I will not soon forget and gave me insights at a ‘gut’ level about what our children with LD and ADD/ADHD feel and do just to survive and get through another school day.
In addition to this terrific set of lectures and events, there’s also an LD/ADD Parent Support Group that meets monthly. I sat in on one group meeting recently and loved seeing parents of newly diagnosed children sharing their concerns and questions and receiving emotional support and sound advice from other parents who already have had diagnoses for children and have learned so much about what works/doesn’t work when it comes to raising a child with a learning difference or ADD/ADHD. Please check out this lecture series and support group at:
http://www.php.com/support/learning-differences-attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder
The nation-wide organization CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is promoting awareness of this condition that affects thousands of individuals and their families with AD/HD Awareness Week – September 14th-20th. The theme for the week of awareness is the importance of early diagnosis.
Related to that theme, CHADD has announced the release of a survey whose findings shed light on differences found in the life paths and issues of those diagnosed earlier with AD/HD (by high school) versus later (after high school).
Here is a sampling of some of the survey’s findings:
- Of those diagnosed at age 14 or earlier, 29 percent reported being held back a grade in school compared to only 10 percent of those diagnosed after the age of 30.
- Of those diagnosed at age 14 or earlier, 75 percent reported being satisfied or very satisfied with life in general, while 67 percent of those diagnosed after the age of 30 reported being satisfied or very satisfied with life in general.
- 74 percent of those diagnosed after the age of 30 indicated self-education as the most popular treatment.
In contrast, those diagnosed at age 14 or earlier indicated medication as the most popular treatment option (73 percent).
- 84 percent of individuals who do not have AD/HD themselves but have a family member who does, noted medication as the most effective treatment in controlling AD/HD for their family member. Behavior modification was the second most chosen treatment option with 52 percent of these respondents selecting it.
Most survey respondents believed that early diagnosis was the single most important factor when treating AD/HD.
For more information about the survey results and about AD/HD, go to:
http://www.chadd.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Home&TEMPLATE=/CM/HTMLDisplay.cfm&CONTENTID=12061
With the start of school right around the corner, you parents out there are busy preparing for your child’s school year. Your list of things to do probably includes shopping for school supplies, figuring out after school activities, lining up new clothes for your child to wear and much more. If you are the parent of a child diagnosed with AD/HD, then I urge you to add an item to your ‘to do’ list and that is: ‘Meet with my child’s teacher.’
Don’t wait for Back to School Night – arrange for this meeting to occur before the first day of school. The meeting’s purpose is to share information about your child with the teacher and discuss ways to help the child experience success in the coming school year.
Prepare for the meeting by writing down key ‘points of vulnerability’ about your child as well as interests and strengths. Vulnerabilities are problems that your child is likely to exhibit such as getting easily distracted by noises or sounds, trouble with sitting still for very long, forgetfulness with regard to taking homework home or returning it. Bring a copy of this document to the meeting and give it to the teacher.
At the meeting, go over this document. For each specific problem you have noted, exchange ideas with the teacher about what can be done in the classroom and at home to manage the problem. For example, if your child is likely to forget to bring home assigned homework, discuss ways to remedy this such as having the child check with the teacher before leaving school to be sure all homework is in the child’s homework folder. Ask and see if the teacher can provide you ahead of time with a weekly list of homework assignments. That way, you know what homework needs to be done each day and can check to see that your child completes that homework. Make sure to spend some time at the meeting acquainting the teacher with the wonderful personal qualities and interests of your child.
This meeting before school will go a long way towards getting your child ‘off on the right foot’ with her teacher. It may help prevent the teacher from developing a negative impression of your child if behavioral problems arise since the teacher will see your child through informed eyes. It also gives you the opportunity to establish a rapport with the teacher that will come in handy when you and your child’s teacher need to communicate. You also gain the chance to see how open and willing the teacher is to consider and arrange accommodations and strategies to help your child be more successful at school.